When I talk about my old friends people look at me like I’m an idiot. Sometimes I feel ugly for my past. But I knew those people so well… I knew about the things they couldn’t say out of fear of being judged or even sent away to rot in a mental hospital. Even the darkest maniac can have a beautiful thought. Often we found the beauty together, in anything and everything. I miss the intellectual discussions. I miss the rich, dark poetry. I miss being able to call a random person while having a panic attack. Even if they just listened. Some of it was more harm than good. But you’ll never find more acceptance than in these people I knew. I loved my crazy friends. I miss you guys.
I’m all about unforgiving and hating and holding grudges because it keeps me safe and mentally healthy and I don’t care about your stupid feel-good quotes about forgiving everyone everywhere always so you can take your feel-good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit and shove it
THANK YOU OH MY GOD